I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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