i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
