Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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