9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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