god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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