Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize