so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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