New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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