it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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