We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
