Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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