I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
