remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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