I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
