you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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