I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
