She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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