apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
