My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
