so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
