Fuck appropriateness.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
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hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
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If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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