you guys were way drunker than both of me
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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