It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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