What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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