is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
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I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
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CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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