I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
