I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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