While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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