you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
