But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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