So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
