You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Randomize
