I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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