you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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