I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
