this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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