There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the condom got lost in my hair
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
