CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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