Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
