garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
