can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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