So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
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I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
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I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize