my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
