no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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