Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
