THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
