Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
