we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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