He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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