Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
