omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
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