if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
