apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
