I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
