I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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