she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
