i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
