You're completely useless in the revolution.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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