the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
